Modern Dating

Respond to this Friday Faithfuls challenge by writing anything about a dating site that you have joined, if you had any luck on this site, or if you think all of them are a big waste of time and money, or you can write about whatever else you think might fit.  Everyone wants to be wanted, needs to be needed and loves to be loved.  Human beings are inherently social creatures and human nature drives us to seek companionship, because we are wired to connect with others.  When we find ourselves alone, we start searching for a partner.  People get tired of being alone and they feel worthless when they are socially isolated.  They think that joining a dating site could solve all of their problems, but when it doesn’t happen, they get tired and exhausted of putting themselves out there trying to meet people, while looking for love.  The young people of today probably have never dated without the apps and that makes me feel sad for them.  Match.com started up in 1995, becoming the first online dating website for singles to meet each other.  The site matched users based on answers to a wide variety of questionnaires and lonely hearts rejoiced as they could now meet and flirt with potential matches without having to change out of their pajamas.

Signing up for a dating site to meet people seems like the perfect way to get someone new in your life, as you create a profile and then you start dating, but it is not that easy.  Many of the members are just looking and they have no interest in actually dating.  Some members are unpaid members and dating sites will ask you to spend more money so you can contact these people, but you have no way to know if any of them are real people, as this is a widespread problem and it’s estimated that about 10% of online dating profiles are actually bots or romance scammers.  When you first join a dating site, everything is exciting as you look at all of these profiles that could be potential matches for you.  I can only speak as a man who has tried several dating sites and I am sure that it is a different experience for women, as they get 100x more interactions than men do.  I have been on AmericanSingles, eharmony, Match, Zoosk, Ourtime, EliteSingles, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, and Fling and I did get a few dates, but I also experienced constant rejection.  I always felt that it is the man’s job to initiate contact and that leaves it up to the man to figure out what she wants.  Most of the messages that I sent to women went unanswered and this did not boost my confidence for approaching other women, as I began to feel that the risk was not worth the reward, however if I did find the right individual, it would be more than worth the effort.  Most dating sites have more men than women, so women have more options to choose from and guys have more competition to struggle with.  Being ignored by women that I have contacted has made me feel inadequate, hopeless and I have had thought like I will never be good enough.

Some people join dating sites to scam others out of money, by creating a profile, building a relationship, and then they will ask for money.  If their sister needs a kidney, tell them to set up a GoFundMe page and stop communicating with them.  If they tell you that they are a Nigerian prince or princess and all of their money is tied up in gold, that is a scam.  Others do it to boost their ego, or they are trying to steal your identity.  They create a profile with photos that make them look much more attractive than they really are and then message people they know they will never meet.  If a girl that is half your age contacts you and you think this is too good to be true, it is, so only look for people your own age that you can actually meet in person.  The dating sites are only interested in collecting your membership dues and I wouldn’t be all that surprised to find out that many of these fake profiles are being paid to string you along.  I am probably coming off as sounding paranoid and hostile, but being on a dating site is not always a bed of roses.

No one can predict what the future will bring, so you must commit yourself to the journey and that takes resilience, so you can’t give up when you fail.  Keep your hopes up, and stay the course, as long as you know what direction you are headed to.  Try not to get discouraged, as only those that put in the effort will get rewarded.  At one time online dating was considered unfashionable and almost embarrassing, but not anymore, as many trends have changed since the COVID-19 pandemic.  On many dating sites, it’s free to make a profile, but at the core of the business they want to make money, so they need paying customers.  Every time a member finds a new partner and stops using the apps, that’s one fewer paying customer.  They may show professional models on their site to hook people in and get them to subscribe.  It’s estimated that there are now over 8000 dating apps worldwide and they are taking in $5+ billion in annual revenue.  Dating apps have helped many people find love, but it won’t work for you if you are on the wrong one and that is why I suggest that you sign up for the shortest time period possible and if it is not working, then move on to another site.