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Heeding Haiku With Chèvrefeuille, September 19th 2018, Revise That Haiku

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Dear friends of MLMM,

Welcome at a new episode of our weekly feature Heeding Haiku With … This week I have made it myself a little bit easier than I often do. I had a busy day at work so I am a bit tired, but because of that you don’t have to miss my weekly feature.

Maybe you know that I am hosting my own weblog about Japanese poetry and at that weblog I had a feature titled “revise that haiku”. In that feature I challenged my visitors to re-do, revise, a haiku by one of the classical haiku poets. And this week I will give you a haiku by a classical haiku poet to revise. And if you would like to write a haibun … well of course that’s possible, but you have to use your revised haiku.

The haiku I will give, you have to read and re-read a few times, because you have to relate to it and try to become one with it. You know … I think haiku is a symbiosis between the poet and his/her reader … so “building a relation with the scene in the haiku” is very important.

Here is the haiku to work with. It is a haiku by Basho “recorded” by Takarai Kikaku, one of his disciples:

[…] “Thus our master lived a happy life in his cottage, many people trying to help him; but one autumn day in the first year of Jyokyo, he decided to travel to his native place, remembering certain things he had left unsettled there. He was accompanied by Chiri on this journey, and visiting many places in Yamato, even went to the deepest part of Yoshino, where he wrote:

In these drops of dew
Let me wash as a trial
The dust of this world.

He started on his journey, dressed in his usual brown coat and wearing a cypress bark hat, writing a poem about ‘the severity of the noise of the hailstones beating’ against his hat. However, many people along the way tried to help him during his journey, knowing that he was a famous poet and that his poems were truly worth praising, so that in one poem, he compared himself to Chikusai. Indeed he plodded along in his life just like that famous quack doctor gifted with poetic talent, till everyone began to admire our master and regard him as the originator of the ‘true’ style. Many people from nearby villages and towns came on horseback to invite him to stay with them, and he did not have a single day to rest his mind. This consumed so much of his time and energy that at last he fell ill.”[…]

A beauty I would say and the “story” around it can help you to revise this haiku into another “masterpiece”.

Have fun!

When you have written your haiku, please TAG Heeding Haiku with Chèvrefeuille and Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie. Then add your link to the Mister Linky widget below.


About Chèvrefeuille

I am a Dutch haiku poet. And I am the owner and host of the weblog "Carpe Diem, a daily haiku meme" on Blogger (or Blogspot). I am writing haiku since the late eighties and in 2005 I became an international known haiku poet and in 2011 ten of my haiku were included in a worldwide anthology "Spasms of Light". With that anthology I became an even more known haiku poet. In October 2012 I started my daily haiku meme.

4 comments on “Heeding Haiku With Chèvrefeuille, September 19th 2018, Revise That Haiku

  1. Pingback: Dew – Reena Saxena

  2. Pingback: dew – syncwithdeep

  3. Pingback: (s 9.19) Imprompt/ MLMM Hh/ Fun With Science a haibun | Jules Longer Strands of Gems

  4. Jules
    September 19, 2018

    I did a poetic haibun
    Fun With Science

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This entry was posted on September 19, 2018 by in Uncategorized.
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