Tale Weaver Prompt #10 : be a bad writer
Can you outdo Edward George Bulwer-Lytton? The introductory sentence words to his 1830 novel, Paul Clifford, is considered to be the worst beginning to a novel since Gutenberg developed the European printing press:
It was a dark and stormy night, the rain fell in torrents except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. (58 words)
There is a yearly Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest that challenges entrants to create a sentence as
bad as “It was dark and stormy night . . .” in one of the following genres:
kids lit
crime
fantasy
historical fiction
purple prose
romance
scifi
vile puns
misc.
To weave your tale this week, choose a genre, and write an atrocious opening sentence.
If you want, you can follow-up this sentence with flash fiction (100 to 150 words).
If you are feeling flashier, by all means, continue your story.
Bulwer-Lytton’s was 58 words long – extra challenge: write your atrocious sentence with 58 or more words.
Have fun with this. Write that sentence that been hanging around with you since grade school.
If your sentence is atrocious enough, you might consider entering it in the contest.
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Atrocious opening sentence: Historical Fiction: 77 words:
“The day he was so brutally assassinated, King Qualzigor was on his first visit to the house of his twenty-third concubine, the dusky, inimitable beauty he had won on the roll of a die, in a straightforward match with his vile enemy, the Prince of Arwanzak, whose daughter he had brought home on his precious white horse, riding through the forbidding desert for seventeen days, through sandstorms and pitiless heat, not touching her alabaster skin, even once.”
Congratulations! That is a truly bad opening sentence and weighs in at 77 words. Thanks so much for participating.
When I checked to see if the prompt had posted, I was so pleased to read your contribution.
LOL.. much fun, thank you 🙂
That is a mouthful but it reminds me of Hawthorne at least how I remember him from school (which could be inaccurate given my memory). Man could go on for ten pages about a simple wooden door. A run-on sentence is a good way to go because they are hard to follow.
I agree with “hard to follow”… because now the second sentence (to follow that one) has to be longer than 77 words 🙂 Worth trying… 1500 words on “door” !!!
If you could write 1500 words on a door it would be impressive. Even though I don’t find doors that fascinating usually lol
Very nice.
It was one of those days, which is to say, that everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. 😛
Thotpurge: I’ll let you get away with a 58 word sentence and you don’t have to mention doors, now windows . . . 🙂
LOL… nice try!! I have all these pictures of magnificent doors I took during a recent trip…so who knows, inspiration may come knocking 🙂
mlm: sorry it was one of those days!
In keeping with the theme: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. . .
Hope things improve!
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I’m not sure if I’ll get to post before my grands arrive…
but I’ve got a dozy waiting in the wings… over 100 words!
They are here…
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Here it is:
https://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/2015/04/23/mrs-mary-mack-fiction-haibun-4-23-f/
Loved the film noir feel! Bad writing — funny that it is a compliment!
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