Tale Weaver Prompt #10 : be a bad writer

Can you outdo Edward George Bulwer-Lytton? The introductory sentence words to his 1830 novel, Paul Clifford, is considered to be the worst beginning to a novel since Gutenberg developed the European printing press:

It was a dark and stormy night, the rain fell in torrents except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. (58 words)

There is a yearly Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest that challenges entrants to create a sentence as

bad as “It was dark and stormy night . . .” in one of the following genres:

kids lit

crime

fantasy

historical fiction

purple prose

romance

scifi

vile puns

misc.

To weave your tale this week, choose a genre, and write an atrocious opening sentence.

If you want, you can follow-up this sentence with flash fiction (100 to 150 words).

If you are feeling flashier, by all means, continue your story.

Bulwer-Lytton’s was 58 words long – extra challenge: write your atrocious sentence with 58 or more words.

Have fun with this. Write that sentence that been hanging around with you since grade school.

If your sentence is atrocious enough, you might consider entering it in the contest.

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"I think I made you up inside my head.” Sylvia Plath

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